Stuart Reads A Game of Thrones – Chapter 05

Don't worry, I don't smoke soap bubbles in real life. That would be silly.

Chapter 5 – Jon

Ooh, is this a Jon Snow chapter? I hope so.

Yes, it is. The Starks have been holding a welcome banquet for the King and the Lannisters for the last four hours (the Starks like to party hard, man) and Jon’s enjoying some drink. Because of his bastardy he gets to sit with the guardsmen and other non-royals, which also means he gets to indulge in as much alcohol as he wants. I’m pretty sure he’s only, like, fourteen, but I doubt that means a nickel in Winterfell.

Jon’s got some perspective on the royal guests, who entered the dining hall in a procession: Eddard escorted the Queen (whose name escapes me right now), who was clearly forcing a smile the whole time, while King Robert escorted Catelyn, Lady Stark. Jon’s rather unimpressed by the King, who’s grown fat and sweaty. After this came the various children, including Jon’s youngest brother:

[quote]Little Rickon first, managing the long walk with all the dignity a three-year-old could muster. Jon had to urge him on when he stopped to visit.[/quote]

ohmygosh how adorable

I think I’m latching onto these brief moments of cuteness because I know the book will eventually start getting darker. Hell, it’s dark enough already. But the other kids: Robb Stark escorts Princess Myrcella, who Jon notes has an utterly brainless expression on her face. After them walk the two Stark sisters, Arya and Sansa, who escort Prince Tommen and Crown Prince Joffrey.

This kind of sets off some warning bells for me, because I’m sure I’ve read Joffrey’s name before online and it was never used in a positive context. Is he a bad guy? He’s only twelve, although Jon does notice that he’s taller than him or Robb.

Whatever, Jon’s more interested in the last two arrivals: the Lion and Imp of Lannister, Ser Jaime and Tyrion. I have nothing to go on these characters yet other than their physical appearances, though. Ser Jaime seems to be the stereotypical knight, a dashing and beefy blonde, while Tyrion is a dwarf with multicolored eyes.

Back in the present moment, Jon is sneaking some food off his table to his direwolf pup, who he’s named Ghost. No points for originality, mate.

Jon’s uncle Benjen (buh-what?) stops by to chill with his nephew and eat something:

[quote]He snagged a roasted onion, dripping brown with gravy, from a nearby trencher and bit into it. It crunched.[/quote]

And now I’m hungry. Excuse me for a few minutes.

. . .

Mmm. What’s happening?

This uncle Benjen seems like a pretty swell guy. He’s appreciative of Jon’s sharp mind, and he’s a Night’s Watchman, which Jon clearly respects. He’s asking him if he can join him on the Wall — it’s obvious Jon has been thinking of asking him for a while now. I doubt Benjen will let him, though.

I was right, on both counts: Jon has been biding his time, waiting for this moment, and Benjen does shoot him down, but only after a surprising degree of contemplation. He objects to Jon’s wish because he’s too young, and suggests that Jon ask him again after he’s grown old enough to sire a few bastards of his own.

[quote]Jon trembled. “I will never father a bastard,” he said carefully. “Never!” He spat it out like venom.[/quote]

Yikes, I think Jon still has some issues to work out. Which makes sense, considering the screwy world he lives in. He leaves the banquet in a rush and kind of embarrasses himself on the way out, knocking someone down and drawing some laughs.

Jon’s outside, starting to cry, when the last person I expected to show up shows up:

[quote]”Boy,” a voice called out to him. Jon turned.

Tyrion Lannister was sitting on the ledge above the door to the Great Hall, looking for all the world like a gargoyle. The dwarf grinned down at him.[/quote]

Whoa, Tyrion’s cool. He can do acrobatics and stuff. He’s interested in Jon’s direwolf, who I’m surprised to see Jon has managed to train already.

Tyrion sounds like Garrus Vakarian in my head. Dunno why. They’re both quietly sassy, though. After sharing some hard truths with Jon, he goes back inside, ending the chapter:

[quote]And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king.[/quote]

Ooh, I like this guy already.

Summary Time: Jon Snow enjoys a little too much alcohol at the welcoming feast and talks with his uncle Benjen, a Night’s Watchman. He asks Benjen for a role in his unit, but he’s rejected, so he hides outside with his snow-white direwolf, Ghost. The dwarf Tyrion Lannister appears, offers Jon some words of wisdom, and leaves. Like a boss.

So, I’ve heard it said that Tyrion is supposedly the best character on the TV show, and today I got my first idea why that it is. I’m glad I was introduced to him via another favorite character of mine. So, yeah, I was pretty excited when my two favorite characters were hangin’ out in a courtyard with a giant puppy.

I like Uncle Benjen too, and I don’t mind his refusal to admit Jon into the Night’s Watch. Jon probably is too young, after all — the prologue featured the incompetence and subsequent death of a youthful recruit to the Night’s Watch, perhaps as foreshadowing for Jon’s character? Hmm. I’m going to guess Jon does eventually get into the Night’s Watch, but he’ll have a difficult time earning his way in, and he’ll probably fare better than the guy from the prologue.

See you next time and thanks for reading.

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EDIT: See Ian’s interpretation of Tyrion Lannister here.

3 Comments


    1. Not to my knowledge. There is, however, a Little People are Surreal trope. I’m not sure what to make of that.


      1. Little People are surreal? What the hay does that mean? Sir, I sense a post in your future. Don’t forget in your retrospective the Star Trek dude on the Kirk-kisses-Uhura planet.

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