Stuart Reads A Game of Thrones – Chapter 15

Don't worry, I don't smoke soap bubbles in real life. That would be silly.

Chapter 15 – Sansa

. . . Who?

[quote]Eddard Stark had left before dawn, Septa Mordane informed Sansa as they broke their fast. “The king sent for him. Another hunt, I do believe. There are still wild aurochs in these lands, I am told.”

“I’ve never seen an aurochs,” Sansa said, feeding a piece of bacon to Lady under the table. The direwolf took it from her hand, as delicate as a queen.[/quote]

Oh oh right, the other Stark daughter; the one betrothed to Crown Prince Joffrey. Does every Stark get a POV? Like, even the three-year-old? I have no idea what an “aurochs” is. I love how the direwolf is owning up to its name, though — reminds me of one of our dogs, who eats everything out of your hand just like that; “as delicate as a queen.”

The septa doesn’t approve of feeding wolves under the table, of course. She seems like an unpleasant fuddy-duddy.

Sounds like Sansa and Arya, her sister, have been invited to ride with the Queen and Princess Myrcella today. I doubt anything terrible will happen — why would the Queen attack either of the Stark girls, let alone in front of her own daughter? — but then again, I assumed nothing bad would happen in the last chapter, and see where that got me. Must be suspicious at all times.

Apparently Sansa is “already in love with Joffrey.” Why? What? Sansa’s eleven, right? Now I’m remembering Arya’s perspective on Sansa: she sounds like The Ditz. Now I’m interested to see where this chapter goes — I would not be forced to endure a ditzy character in this book unless something unexpected occurred.

Sansa finds Arya by the Trident, a river, giving her direwolf a bath. When she tells her they are to ride with the Queen, Arya haughtily declines, as she’s more interested in skimming the Trident for buried treasure. This gets on Sansa’s nerves fast:

[quote]”The queen invited us both.”

“I don’t care,” Arya said. “The wheelhouse doesn’t even have windows, you can’t see a thing.”

“What could you want to see?” Sansa said, annoyed. She had been thrilled by the invitation, and her stupid sister was going to ruin everything, just as she’d feared. “It’s all just fields and farms and holdfasts.”

“It is not,” Arya said stubbornly. “If you came with us sometimes, you’d see.”[/quote]

While this chapter may be from Sansa’s view, I suspect I’m supposed to empathize more with Arya, the quintessential Tomboy. Besides that, I also know the Queen is a dangerous person and it could be considered hazardous to either Stark girl’s health if they hung out with her. However, ignoring that and thinking from an in-universe perspective, Arya’s refusal to the Queen’s invitation is a pretty poor move. Sansa might be in the right here.

Now Sansa is indulging in some expositional flashbacks that explain how aggrieving this journey has been for her, and how comfortable Arya has been so far:

[quote]One day [Arya] came back grinning her horsey grin . . . clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father. Sansa kept hoping he would tell Arya to behave herself and act like the highborn lady she was supposed to be, but he never did, he only hugged her and thanked her for the flowers.[/quote]

HOW ADORABLE.

Sansa is adamant about this invitation, and tries to coerce Arya into it by mentioning the Queen will serve tea and cake. Go straight for the stomach, that’s smart.

[quote]”Why would you want to ride a smelly old horse and get all sore and sweaty when you could recline on feather pillows and eat cakes with the queen?”

“I don’t like the queen,” Arya said casually.[/quote]

Very astute. You’ll survive longer than your sister, Arya, I’m calling it now.

Sansa gives up and returns to the camp, but finds a bit of a commotion has begun. Apparently “the council” (whoever they are) sent an honor guard to help escort the royal family. The guard consists of three warriors, although Sansa does not immediately notice the third man:

[quote]He stood to one side, beside their horses, a gaunt grim man who watched the proceedings in silence. His face was pockmarked and beardless, with deepset eyes and hollow cheeks. Though he was not an old man, only a few wisps of hair remained to him, sprouting above his ears, but those he had grown long as a woman’s.[/quote]

Um, okay. Who’s this guy and why is he so deserving of extensive description? I don’t get it. He’s really ugly?

[quote]He seemed to feel the weight of her gaze. Slowly he turned his head. Lady growled. A terror as overwhelming as anything Sansa Stark had ever felt filled her suddenly.[/quote]

WHOA WHOA what? I don’t get it. Is he possessed by a demon or something? Why is her direwolf freaking out?

Sansa is so alarmed by this scary ugly guy that she stumbles into Sandor Clegane, whom I believe is the bodyguard or some such for Crown Prince Joffrey. He is also a scary ugly guy, with a burnt face, and thus Sansa continues to be distressed, which further distresses her direwolf, which distresses everybody because now there’s a snarling monster puppy less than twenty feet from the Queen. Things are escalating.

[quote]She heard the queen say, “Joffrey, go to her.”

And her prince was there.

“Leave her alone,” Joffrey said. He stood over her, beautiful in blue wool and black leather, his golden curls shining in the sun like a crown. He gave her his hand, drew her to her feet. “What is it, sweet lady? Why are you afraid? No one will hurt you. Put away your swords, all of you. The wolf is her little pet, that’s all.” He looked at Sandor Clegane. “And you, dog, away with you, you’re scaring my betrothed.”[/quote]

Hmm . . . now I think I understand why this event is told from Sansa’s perspective. This is a re-introduction to Prince Joffrey, who I envision as a cross between Count Vronsky and Draco Malfoy. Up to this point, Joffrey has been shown to be rather deplorable: he was unimpressed with Winterfell, insensitive to Bran’s injury, and he mocked Robb Stark to the point of wild threats. But to Sansa he is only perfection — she is oblivious to his inner cruelty. And I am absolutely certain he’s hiding more inner cruelty, since I’ve read his name in my Internet travels and it has always been associated with “hate,” “nasty” and “generally a scumbag.”

Anyway, the danger has passed, and I get some names to match with these honor guard members: the kindly old gentleman is called Ser Barristan Selmy, and he is the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, a councilor to King Robert. The younger, more handsome knight is Renly Baratheon, one of King Robert’s two brothers and therefore also a royal councilor.

The gross, ugly, scary-looking guy is called . . . Payne.

FACEPALM

Like, I know this guy is supposed to be threatening. He’s apparently an executioner, and he scared the direwolf, so the dude’s probably bad news. But his name is literally Payne. I will endeavor (and fail) to take him seriously.

[quote]The tension of a few moments ago was gone, and Sansa was beginning to feel comfortable . . . until Ser Ilyn Payne shouldered two men aside, and stood before her, unsmiling. He did not say a word. Lady bared her teeth and began to growl, a low rumble full of menace, but this time Sansa silenced the wolf with a gentle hand to the head. “I am sorry if I offended you, Ser Ilyn,” she said.

She waited for an answer, but none came. As the headsman looked at her, his pale colorless eyes seemed to strip the clothes away from her, and then the skin, leaving her soul naked before him. Still silent, he turned and walked away.[/quote]

. . . Um, I gotta admit, that was legitimately creepy. What is this guy’s deal? Is he Satan? I’m even more confused.

Huh, the reason he didn’t say anything is because he had his tongue cut out by Mad King Targaryen. “Oh, that wascally King Targaryen! Such a prankster! What’ll he do next, kids?” Seriously though, this only answers one of my many questions about Mr. Payne.

Oh well, the Queen is busy with these new guests, so Joffrey and Sansa decide to go riding, and she unwisely agrees to leave her direwolf behind at the camp. Got a bad feeling about this.

The two love birds have a pleasant day riding around, eating fish, drinking wine, Joffrey shows off his sword, called Lion’s Tooth, and Sansa listens to Joffrey sing awhile . . .

[quote]”Shouldn’t we be starting back?” she asked.

“Soon,” Joffrey said. “The battleground is right up ahead, where the river bends. That was where my father killed Rhaegar Targaryen, you know.”[/quote]

That sounds kind of inter — wait, wait, that’s where Arya said she would be hanging out. She refused the Queen’s invitation and said she’d be taking her friend up the Trident to look for “Rhaegar’s rubies,” which fell from his armor when he was struck down by King Robert. She’s probably still there. This is going to be awkward.

[quote]”What’s that sound?”

Sansa heard it too, floating through the woods, a kind of wooden clattering, snack snack snack. “I don’t know,” she said. It made her nervous, though. “Joffrey, let’s go back.”

“I want to see what it is.”[/quote]

This is going to be very awkward. Now I’m remembering that Jon Snow gave Arya a sword and told her to practice with it. I think Joffrey’s going to see her with the sword and freak out.

Hmm, actually this isn’t as bad as I thought, but it’s still awkward. It is Arya, and she’s practicing her swordfighting with her friend Mycah, a butcher’s boy, but they’re just using broomsticks. Joffrey actually laughs when he sees them, although Sansa is mortified to see her sister doing something so masculine.

[quote]”A butcher’s boy who wants to be a knight, is it?” Joffrey swung down from his mount, sword in hand. “Pick up your sword, butcher’s boy,” he said, his eyes bright with amusement. “Let us see how good you are.”

Mycah stood there, frozen with fear.[/quote]

Now I’m nervous again.

Joffrey’s being a creep, sticking his sword right in Mycah’s face, but it doesn’t look like he’s going to hurt him.

[quote]“Stop it!” Arya screamed. She grabbed up her fallen stick.[/quote]

Crap. Arya, honey, he’s the crown prince, don’t do anything stupid —

[quote]Sansa slid off her mare, but she was too slow. Arya swung with both hands. There was a loud crack as the wood split against the back of the prince’s head . . .[/quote]

Dammit, Arya.

[quote]Joffrey staggered and whirled around, roaring curses . . . The back of his head was all bloody and his eyes were on fire. Sansa was shrieking, “No, no, stop it, stop it, both of you, you’re spoiling it,” but no one was listening . . . Joffrey slashed at Arya with his sword, screaming obscenities, terrible words, filthy words. Arya darted back, frightened now, but Joffrey followed, hounding her toward the woods, backing her up against a tree.[/quote]

O_O

[quote]. . . Suddenly Nymeria was there, leaping, jaws closing around Joffrey’s sword arm. The steel fell from his fingers as the wolf knocked him off his feet, and they rolled in the grass, the wolf snarling and ripping at him, the prince shrieking in pain.[/quote]

Whew. Well, not really, since everything’s so screwed now. Arya calls her pup off of Joffrey before he’s seriously injured killed, but I don’t see a peaceful resolution to this. The prince, and by extension the queen, can only react badly to this.

[quote]The prince lay in the grass, whimpering, cradling his mangled arm. His shirt was soaked in blood . . . [Arya] picked up Lion’s Tooth where it had fallen, and stood over him, holding the sword with both hands.

Joffrey made a scared whimpery sound as he looked up at her. “No,” he said, “don’t hurt me. I’ll tell my mother.”[/quote]

  • First of all, the image of Joffrey whining with a bloody arm reminds me so strongly of when Draco Malfoy got injured by Buckbeak the hippogryph in Prisoner of Azkaban it’s unreal.
  • Second, wow, Arya, that’s pretty badass. I support you.
  • Third, what are you doing, Arya, that’s not cool. I don’t support you! Can’t you figure out that threatening the crown prince to the Iron Throne is a fantastically bad idea? I mean, hasn’t she just committed career suicide right here? Unless there’s something I’m not expecting.

Well, whatever it is I’m not expecting, it’s not in this chapter — Arya tosses Joffrey’s sword in the river and leaves, and when Sansa goes to help her “poor prince,” he lashes out at her. To be continued.

Dammit, Arya.

Summary Time: Sansa Stark, Eddard and Catelyn’s eleven-year-old daughter and all around Girly Girl, has not been enjoying the journey south to King’s Landing, unlike her sister Arya. The Stark daughters receive an invitation to ride with the queen, but when Sansa tells Arya her sister reacts with disdain, preferring the company of a lowly butcher’s boy named Mycah. Sansa tries to accept the invitation by herself, but runs into the three-person honor guard, which includes an executioner by the hilarious name of Payne. To Sansa’s joy, her betrothed Crown Prince Joffrey elects to take her for a ride around the country, but they eventually encounter Arya and Mycah practicing their swordfighting skills. When Joffrey mocks Mycah too strongly Arya attacks Joffrey, who reacts violently, but is then nearly killed by Arya’s direwolf. Arya proceeds to threaten Joffrey and basically ruin her court life.

Yes, Joffrey’s a scumbag, and potentially psychopathic — but he’s only twelve, and he’s the crown prince. Honestly, the only things I can imagine will protect Arya from his or his mother’s wrath are: she’s only nine, so I doubt she’ll be imprisoned or executed, and her father is Eddard Stark, King’s Robert’s best friend and the new Hand of the King. Even so, I anticipate Arya will not get off easily at all — and besides, she’s made an enemy of Joffrey, who I must repeat is the future king.

Unless she starts sucking up to him somehow, the very second he takes the Iron Throne he will have her beheaded, I’m positive. And I shouldn’t forget about her friend Mycah; the boy may not have struck the prince, but he was part of the instigation of this fiasco, and Joffrey seems like just the sort of person to blame him for it. I don’t really have a personal investment in Mycah — I think he was only introduced this chapter — but I anticipate bad times for him.

Anyway, this was a nice chapter, and similar to the last in its synchronicity: in the first half, Sansa professes her love for Joffrey — in the second half, he shows his true colors; in the first half, Arya insults the royal family and potentially damages her social standing — in the second half, she sorely insults the royal family and definitely damages her social standing, etc.

The only odd point is Mr. Payne. Why did his mere presence frighten Sansa and alarm her direwolf? Why did he behave so freaky to Sansa? Does he behave like that to everyone? Would he raise the hackles on any direwolf or just Sansa’s, and if so what is the connection between them?

So very, very confusing. I love it.

Although I should also rage a little about Arya’s direwolf Nymeria. I mean, this is the third time in the last few chapters that one of the Stark children’s direwolves has violently protected their charge. Why has G.R.R.M written these wolfy encounters back-to-back? Was that intentional? Will the next chapter star Rickon the toddler? Will Shaggydog leap to his rescue?

Actually, that sounds hilarious. I hope that happens.

Thanks for reading and see you later.

PREVIOUSNEXT

EDIT: See Ian’s illustrations for this chapter here.

3 Comments


  1. Is Picard now the universal picture for #facepalm? That’s great.

    Payne hits every stereotype of a villain, from name to acne scars to missing tongue. Even Dickens was more subtle.

    Was it Joffrey’s sword arm that was chewed, or his off hand?

    Arya was wonderful. But I have a bone to pick over Sansa. Writing the girly-girl as an idiot is very, very lazy. Tropes should be used as shorthand for minor characters, or as a starting point for developing someone more complex. I’ve heard Martin accused of sexism. This chapter would be one of the flags for that charge, I’m guessing.


    1. Martin’s been accused of sexism? Whoa. I haven’t really thought of these events from that perspective. I mean, obviously the women in his story are treated in-universe in an ugly way, but that was intentional. With Sansa, though, I agree that her character seems pretty two-dimensional, and in a weak way. I hope she learns from this experience and grows into a better character.

      And I did not consider the importance of Joffrey’s arm injury, but it was indeed his sword arm that was damaged. That’s another little nick in Arya’s reputation.


  2. Love the Picard moment. Losing some interest overall, I’m certain I would have misplaced the book by now. Who am I supposed to like again? This is still the best way to read a novel though!

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